My first post

Is this a milestone? Should I open a bottle of wine or something? No, wait, I don't have any of that. Maybe a bit of jaeger?

This is strange to me, I gave up blogging years and pounds ago, and yet here I am, starting a blog. This is probably just a moment of desperation, I tend to blog in those moments, and I have been down recently. So yes, I suppose this is one of those moments. Perhaps I should have some of that jaeger.

I suppose there isn't much to say really. Well, nothing to say worth listening to, or in this case, reading. But I'll write them down anyway, in case someone stumbles across this and feels like knowing what I think or how I feel.

It seems like lately I've been easy to step on. I promised myself that I'd grow a pair and finally start standing up for myself, but I epically fail at that. I've been traveling a lot, shooting a lot, and I feel like I'm still 5 steps behind everyone else. I have no delusions of grandeur. I shoot for fun, I'm up front and honest about that, but I'm changing my policy to no TF* at the moment. If I add everything up, over the past 3 weeks, I have spent upwards of three hundred dollars on shoots....gas prices are killing me, and once I add on the price of hotel rooms...well, I'm draining my bank account.

Mind you, this is no one's fault but my own. I agreed to TF*, I agreed to travel....but what bothers me is the reaction I get after a shoot. I just sent a model her pictures, she received them, and her response back to me "I like them and all, but can I see the B&Ws in color now, and the color in B&W?" Wow, just wow.

I hate to change my policy on TF*, but I have to do what I have to do. Really, I'm thinking about stepping back for a while, and I'm sure no longer offering TF* will do that for me. No one is going to pay for my work, so while I'm on my TF* hiatus, also known as my hiatus, I'm going to evaluate everything. Stop booking gigs for a while, go through with the ones I have planned, and see what, if anything, happens.

If I miss it, I'll return. But in the meantime, I'm getting myself a job and focusing on the world outside of photography. It'll be good for me...I think.